How Parents Boost Their Teen’s Success In and After Treatment

How Parents Boost Their Teen’s Success In and After Treatment

Not by Chance

How Parents Boost Their Teen’s Success In and After Treatment

By Tim R. Thayne, Ph.D.

Your struggling teenager is going to a residential or wilderness treatment program. Their addictions, learning disabilities, or emotional/behavioral issues have brought you to a moment of decision. Heartsick, anxious, and exhausted, questions bounce endlessly around your mind, “Will this work? Will she ever forgive me? Can we handle him at home when the time comes?

What The Book Is About

Not by Chance engages readers through solid research, simple exercises, and captivating stories taken from Thayne’s own life and the living rooms of hundreds of American homes. This book serves up concrete tools, hope, confidence, and stamina for families, professionals and mentors.

Topics include: 

• Why good programs work

• How to boost—not undermine—treatment

• Nine dangers waiting after discharge

• How to identify natural mentors for your teen

• How to ease your young adult’s transition from treatment to independent living

About the Author

Dr. Tim R. Thayne, a marriage and family therapist, is author of Not By Chance: How Parents Boost Their Teen’s Success In and Out of Treatment ( He also is the founder and CEO of Homeward Bound, a leading program in early intervention and in-home transition from treatment services from for families of troubled teens. He has a master’s degree from Brigham Young University and a doctoral degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Virginia Tech.

General Information

Title: Not By Chance

Author: Tim R. Thayne, Ph.D.

photo from website

Genre: Parenting/Family

ISBN: 9781599323176; Publication Date: 2013; Pages: 304

Price: $24.99

Publisher: Advantage

Cathy K. Hayes

Print Campaign Manager

3748 Turman Loop, Ste. 101, Wesley Chapel, FL 33544

Tel: 727-443-7115 ext. 223, Fax: 813-994-9380



In this book you will find the following topics;

Chapter 1 All or Nothing: What It Takes to Succeed

  • Three Major Factors for Long-Term Success

  • Family System Focus

  • Molding The Context

  • Have a Plan and Stick with it

Chapter 2 Know When to Hold ‘Em; How Good Treatment Programs Work

  • Elements of a Powerful Therapeutic Milieu

  • Consistency is King

  • Safety and Security

  • A Structured Full Daily Schedule

  • Clinical Component

  • Good Staff

  • Parent Participation

  • Individual Treatment 

  • Time

Chapter 3 Ready to Roll; Your Role While Your Teen is in Treatment

  • It’s Your Turn

  • The Resume of Failure

  • The Ideal Relationship with Your Program

  • Treatment Resistant Family Dynamics

  • Stages in the Parent/Program Partnership

Chapter 4 Jeopardy: What’s Waiting after Discharge?

  • Expectations

  • Greenhouse to Garden

  • Pack Early

  • Hidden Waterfalls

Chapter 5 Stack The Deck: Your Community’s Contribution

  • Community is Key

  • Natural vs. Assigned Mentors

  • Talking About Treatment

  • Get Connected with Other Parents

  • Micro-interventions

  • Community Building in Our Day

Chapter 6 The Cheering Section: Recruiting Multiple Natural Mentors

  • Identifying Home Team Members

  • Overcoming the Bystander Effect

Chapter 7 Let’s Make a Deal: The Excitement Phase

  • Four Phases

  • Talk It Out

  • Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep

  • Don’t Cave in to Pressure

  • Appraise the Friends

  • Recognize Progress

  • Identify Fears and Prepare

  • Dump the Guilt

  • Set Absolutes (Red Light Issues)

  • Five Key to Fair Consequences

Chapter 8 Stars in Our Eyes: The Honeymoon Phase

  • Short, Sweet and Real

  • Enjoy It But Don’t Falsely Prolong It

  • See Strengths

  • Use Momentum

  • Give Up Suspicion

Chapter 9 Twist and Turns: Testing Phase

  • Fist Signs

  • Never, ever Say

  • Talk It Out

  • Stay Calm and Hold the Boundary

  • Focus on Your Part

  • When You Need a Coach

  • Never, Never, Never Give Up

Chapter 10 Win the Day: The Maintenance Phase

  • Don’t Kick Back

  • Expand the Privilege Pool

  • Family Check-ins

  • Stop the Volcano

  • Have Fun

Chapter 11 No Such Thing as Luck: Helping Your Teen Keep the Momentum

  • Stretch Goals

  • Call on the Home Team

  • Motivating Teens

  • Relapse Prevention Plan

  • School Success Plan

  • Daily Schedule

  • Exercise

  • Sleep Patterns

  • Employment

  • Service

  • Hobbies and Play

  • Social Interactions

Chapter 12 Your Turn: Parenting-The Number-One Thing Within Your Control

  • Circle Of Influence

  1. Parenting Leadership is Essential to Healthy Families

  2. Nurturing the Relationship is a Priority

  3. Clear Expectation Encourage Consistency and Teach Values

  4. Choice and Accountability Invite Growth

  5. Parental Unity Creates Family Stability and Strength

  6. Changes Takes Time and Sustained Effort

  7. Parents Are the Most Powerful Agents of Change

Chapter 13 The Game of Life: Over-eighteeners

  • The Gap between Treatment and Independent Living

  • Transition Programs

  • Home

  • Failure To Launch

  • Tips to Make a Launch Successful

Chapter 14 We’ve Got a Winner: The Role of Aftercare in Long-Term Success

  • Why Aftercare?

  • What Success Looks Like

At the end of each chapter you will find a summary of the major points of the chapter. Some summaries will have suggestions on “What to do Now.”

There are also free templates and Free Monthly Teleseminars  located at Not By Chance.

This book is a great resource only if you put it into practice. However there is no amount of treatment or therapy in books, seminars, treatment centers if the plan of action is not followed through with action by the recipient.

Please pass this book along to the Parents of teens that are in treatment or if they are about to be released from treatment.

I hope that you have found this information useful and that you will pass it along to those in need.

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